I will start by saying that one of the most challenging parts of writing this message was (sorry family) how the f* do I begin?!?!
10 years. A decade.
I’ve scribbled numerous paragraphs in the previous weeks that were to serve as potential opening poignant reflections. In actuality, the one word that keeps coming to me is love. Love, love, love.
Whew, anyway to begin—so, in 10 years, I’ve learned the emoticon for love or a heart rather. We barely had emoticons ten years ago. 10 years ago I was also still fairly spry and nimble. Since then I’ve had my share of bumps, bruises, and wounds. The sprained ankle from skateboarding the streets of New York (never again), the busted up knee and palms from hitting a sidewalk crack wrong and flying over the handlebars of my scooter (it’s ok, you can laugh…a little), the sliced open hand from a “minor” surfing accident. Some of these wounds, although healed, you still see and some are seemingly unnoticeable and some still ache when the weather is acting some kinda way.
But the ache…the pain…the….????...there’s not a word powerful enough to capture what it was that we all went through 10 years ago on September 11th 2001. That is a wound that is still fresh and still hurts. I couldn’t watch any of the interviews, or TV specials, and definitely couldn’t watch any of the memorial. It really, really still hurts. You would think that after 10 years a little bit of the pain would subside, but it’s still fresh…and it’s still raw. My memory in general is pretty poor but there are specific details of that day that are still quite crystal clear. I think it’s fair not to gloss them over but to share properly. That morning was the first morning of classes, a beautiful morning and I had quite the first day of classes outfit planned. Brushing my teeth and seeing the footage of the first plane, I was skeptical that it was an accident and minutes later when the second plane hit I knew this was no mistake. Regardless, our world never faced anything like that before and “reacting to a terrorist attack” was nowhere in our frame of thought, vernacular, or action plan. Out the door I went-already running late to class. While walking to the train, I saw people looking downtown and up. I didn’t know then that the first tower was falling.
Getting out of the train, 14th St. was like being in a cloudy, twisty world of confusion. I entered class confused and alarmed that my phone and no one else’s was working. Our professor also arrived late and shortly after we looked out of our classroom windows onto 4th Ave to see a marching procession of people, many covered in soot and dust and dirt walking forlornly uptown. Shouts of “they’re evacuating the city” rang out and we dismissed ourselves and went on our separate ways. Knowing I had plans to meet a friend who lived close to the World Trade Center at the NYU gym I started heading that way. Further downtown. As my feet hit the pavement and I brushed past people covered head to toe, hair to feet with white dusty powder the anxiety increased, the reality started becoming more clear while thoughts of the world ending and the whole chapter of Revelations swirled through my head. I started to run. The only one going downtown, thousands heading uptown.
The rest of the day was an emotional mess of locating everyone, waiting on line for the pay phone to make phone calls, gawking terrified staring at the armed military tanks going down a deserted 3rd avenue, attempting to donate blood and being turned away, assembling at Union Square Park and signing words of love, sorrow, despair, and hope on the sidewalk and then later on random taped down sheets of paper. The park was inundated by signs from people searching for their loved ones “Have you seen?” Fire trucks would go by and everyone would stop and clap and just cry. The city, for a good month smelled like intoxicating, burning metal. I will never, ever forget that smell.
Within this world of pain and trauma there was however moments of sunshine and goodness that I will also never forget. There were moments of togetherness and honest, true love and compassion. The movie theater for goodness sakes had free movies and popcorn for everyone on September 12th. Friends opened their homes for others displaced and opened their hearts for a space of understanding, love, and security.
Those rays of goodness I saw is my hope and my prayer for our world. More moments where we come together in forgiveness and understanding. More time spent loving and moving forward rather than analyzing our differences and putting up walls and sticking on labels.
It’s not anywhere near easy, but it’s a work in progress, I’m a work in progress. But I ask that we try. Make a conscious effort and try. Each day, remember to take a moment and take a pause. And…from one of my previous September 11th reflections, "We can't forget about the values and our intentions that this day instilled in us and reminded us about who and what's truly important within our lives. We can't forget to value and appreciate our blessings--our lives, our family, our friends--and moreover--we can't forget not to take each day for granted and to live it to its fullest. Have faith, have love, have hope, have PEACE. Trust. Treat your spirit. Remember how blessed we are. Appreciate everything. Appreciate everyone. Enjoy and love each second. You will never be more beautiful than you are at this exact moment. It's hard. There are challenges. We falter. Duh! But stay strong."
Lastly, and as always...and for now for the 10th year...I leave you with the song my kindergartners learned and sang those insanely intense, emotional, scary, numbing, life-altering months after my world...our world..changed as we knew it. The song that I had the opportunity to teach to a new group of kindergartners last year and the song that always makes me smile and nod and say, "if only..."
Think of your fellow man, lend him a helping hand, put a little love in your heart. You see it's getting late, oh please don't hesitate, put a little love in your heart. And the world will be a better place, and the world will be a better place for you...and me...you just wait and see. Another day goes by, and still the children cry--put a little love in your heart. If you want the world to know we won't let hatred grow, put a little love in your heart. Take a good look around, and if you're lookin' down put a little love in your heart. I hope when you decide, kindness will be your guide, put a little love in your heart. And the world will be a better place for you and me you just wait and see. Put a little love in your heart.
May you all be blessed. May you know that you are loved. May you know that you are appreciated and may you share that with others. Like the memorial lights shining, may you be your own tower of light and touch people with your fingertips and radiate out. Let us move beyond ourselves so we can connect with others.
Dream marvelously and love abundantly.
Love, PEACE, hope, and laughter
